Spammed Again!

2-20-03

I checked my email today and had a total 400 messages in my accounts. This was for ONE DAY! The only time I can remember having more is once when my machine crashed and I was offline for a week. Of course, this is the total and not just for my primary accounts, but also my hotmail and other ones that I use mainly as throwaways, for this purpose. This does NOT include the blocked addresses that I never see. The blocked messages Would probably add another hundred plus to the total.

While I hardly ever read the messages I do sometimes get a kick out of the message subjects. Some of them can be quite creative and even humorous once in a while. Of course others can be offensive and down right stupid.

If you want to respond to any of these you will have to ask someone else, the email addresses are all gone (and are probably dead links anyways).

A major annoyance and an automatic delete on my part is the ones where the from is (unknown). Automatic trash bin for those messages with absolutely no chance of me opening them. That is followed by the message with no subject (If I don’t recognize the email address)

Of course the obvious spam mails are next.. If I am lucky after dumping the spam I am left with 10-15 good messages.

CLICK HERE ! Investigate your Friends and Enemies...

I think I really should click on that link, buy that program and investigate the idiot that sends me this email every day or so, always with a name just enough different to get past the blocker and since it is usually a hotmail or AOL address I can’t use the block function since it would block ALL e-mailed from AOL or whatever.

$800,000 Given Away Last Month! How much did ...

This one is really a good one because it makes you curious and applies to the human greed factor. One of these days I may read the message and reply to it telling them I am going to get all of it when my attorney gets done with them and their annoying mails. (Hey, I can dream can’t I?)

<adv.adult>Unbelievably super hot babes, Free...

At least on occasion I get the spammer that at least lets you know up front you are being spammed.. I have to thank them for that, one message that don’t need to be screened.

^^^^^Cell Phone Leather Cases $1.95^^^^^^

This spammer gets to the point and lets you know that something is being sold at least. Of course, by the time you figure in postal rates, shipping charges and handling charges and the fee Bubba charges for licking the stamps you are more than likely going to be paying fourteen or fifteen bucks for it..

A incredible proof

This is a new one on me. It is the first time I have been spammed by the religious... ahem... "presence" on the web. The only proof I have been shown is that they can be as annoying as any other spammer and by so have quite possibly won a place on my next I hate spammers update off my index page. FOLLOW-UP: about 50 spams later I received another spam indicating that the first one was just a big scam to get cash. Looks like a war is starting on this one!

A Stimulating Sensual Lubricant For Women

For what purpose? Their hair? The hands? Oh, I get it, for their frying pans! NO? I guess they aren't talking about WD-40 either.

ADD 3 TO 4 INCHES OVERNIGHT - SEE PHOTOS OF R...

Another non-specific subject topic. 3-4 inches of what? What is this to be added to? Could they be talking about hair? Naah there is no way hair could grow that fast! In fact I don’t believe there is ANY OTHER part of the anatomy that can. That makes this false advertising and I do believe that places them in violation of the truth in advertising laws?

Aerospace & Defense Stocks experience UNPRECE...

This is a come on to get you to invest in their company. I really don’t think I would want to invest in a company that was so poor they had to hire a spammer to send out E-mails begging for me to invest in their company. Might answer them though with a plea for them to send me big bucks for a one tenth of one percent of a tenth of a thousandth percent of one share in my company, for a small fee of $2000.

Amazing New Pill Will Actually ENLARGE Your.....

Balance you owe on your credit card.

Animal adventures !

They sure aren't talking about Lassie or Mr. Ed! There are getting to be a lot of this type e-mails. Sure wish I could send this idiot about 50 thousand but more than likely all the e-mail addresses would be fakes.

Are you sure your kids are safe?

Now this one is really a swiftie. They want you to buy a program for about 40 bucks that will spy on everyone that uses your machine. It wouldn’t surprise me if the information was sent out over the internet every time you log on. I never did find out what it had to do with keeping my kids safe. There was nothing where I could order restraints to keep them locked in the house, Nothing where I could hire each a off duty cop as a bodyguard, or even a place where I could get them tasers for self defense.

Be A Millionaire...Work From Home Program

Be a millionaire and buy a email list from these people to charge other suckers $250 for the list that you buy for $175 which they will have to sell for $300 which they will have to sell for $350 which.... You get the picture.

Become her DREAM LOVER - Satisfaction Guarant...

Only person that is guaranteed to be satisfied is the person that sold this to the mark

Free Porn For Dummies... Tons of Free Sites T...

I sent off for this information to resell it. I used your credit card and email address. [ You DID take My Survey didn't you? ]

I had 8 more pages of this type of garbage and this is in the hotmail junk mail folder,not my regular hotmail folder. This was starting to make me sleepy so i decided to end it here. Hope you got a kick out of this.

My regular hotmail had the usual things..

Get rid of baldness, I have been approved for a credit card (how without personal info they can’t get off the net?) Get free Nokia cell phone, Get free Disney movies, get free DVD’s, and the old favorite, make a thousand dollars a week.

Let’s not forget the unclaimed funds message that shows up almost weekly, the spam form that company that claims they can get you out of debt (rip off a dope dealer and you can do that without their help <snicker>). This one really get’s annoying since it usually shows up 10 or 12 times a week.

Of course there are offers to check your credit, and oh them prize vacations I have won. I should be able to see the world for free it there weren’t catches!

You get the idea though. I’m outta here!

Da Mail Episode 2.

It has been a while since I spoke of the quality of email I receive. I am now averaging about 90 a day in 4 email accounts, which is down thanks to mail washer.

Going from the top I will highlight some of the goodies, a lot of which have migrated to my blacklist through the use of filters.

I have received a PASSWORD I presume is to be used for free information either about HAIR LOSS which I can pay for after I send off for information about a free credit card from Pony Express.

I can have 100% safe all natural larger breasts ( that would go good with my beer gut maybe? I can pay for this with one of the credit card offers I get just about everyday.) Which I can watch grow while I play one of the fifteen DVD's I can get through the internet for $.49 each for 5.

Then there are the daily e-mails from a place called bullseye stock that must be making more in a month now that Gates does in a year ( according to the hype in their annoying e-mails that won't go away)

The government must be in pretty good shape though, I keep getting these adds for VA or FHA loans. I wonder if they will give me 50 trillion? I want to build me a island fortress and staff it with nak- uhhh hire house keepers and maids to take care of it.

The anti-virus makers must be having problems also, I end up getting at lest 3 offers each day from someone trying to sell me their software. Funny thing is that at lest 4 of the offers each week is for a older version. OR I can get the older version FREE for just a minimal shipping and handling charge, ( about 2 times normal shipping through the post office, sending priority!

I can print out coupons for soap, butter, toothpaste and more. According to one email. Funny thing, last time I tried a printed coupon it wasn't honored , they said it was a duplicate, a facsimile. When I run out of ink I can order refills online.

I can advance my financial planning career through a home study course, I can get a fancy new cell phone for just subscribing to a different service, and if I wanted a job I can work out of my home. ( know where I can find about a dozen hot horn... Couriers for a business??) I can fund this business by a mortgage if need be, Build the exact vehicle I want online ( somehow I DON'T think they will let me build a nuclear powered super tank) and if I do and manage to crush a car or some one, I can get Free Legal Advice . If for by some weird reason I was unable to pay for this vehicle with one of the dozens of credit cards that I have signed up for (can I have your DOB, place of birth and CC# AND SSN? ) I can Lower my car payment.

I can chat with singles in my area ( Why would I wish to do this? Chatting CAN be boring.), most singles would be a lot younger and would speak a different language more or less.

Don't let us forget how by purchasing this well known product I can last for hours! (At my age and in my health that would kill me... Hmmm maybe I should try for a attempted murder charge on them! At least email them and threaten to listen to them squeal!) I sure don't need to increase size any my shirts are big enough!.... Oh I read the rest of the email, it my UPPER body they were talking about!

Others have expressed concern about possibly having a boring weekend, but I couldn't possibly as I am going to be copying lots of DVD movies I got for 20 bucks a month from one company. While the movies are duplicating I will be able to read my subscription to Time Magazine.

I am too old to Be All You Can Be and I don't believe my wife would appreciate it if I were playing with a lonely wife in my neighborhood! Then again, I have seen all the wives in my neighborhood (shudder) and she would probably be laughing her head off if I did.. There must be a lot of lonely housewives in my neighbor hood, I got nine messages straight telling me about them, each with a different email address. One even suggests this is the net's most well kept secret. Not any more! I forwarded it to a guy who will put it all over the news groups. Now if it really is a secret it wont be for long and they can quit sending those stupid e-mails!

Now I KNOW someone is out to get me, I can get paid to shop and eat! I really need to eat more!

Of course there were a LOT more that I had to wade through to get a dozen or so good ones, jokes, cartoons, recipes and just plain messages from people I know.

Look on the bright side though. My electronic trash can takes a lot less room than the one for snail mail!

I'm Outta here!

JJ 4/10/03

IT'S ME AGAIN!

It has been over two years since I have made a comment on the multitude of emails that I get each day. Hmmm, I wonder if the quality has changed? What say we take a short trip inside my inbox and see what we can find? (NOTE: When I say You I am probably replying to the idiot that sent the message.

Subject: Give your partner more pleasure Now why would I want to go and do something like this? I would NEVER hear the end then. I would be like that one episode of married with children where the Bundy's would inherit a lot of money if they had another kid. They were running upstairs all the time. Besides, the pleasure she likes best is my credit card at the store. <shudder>

Subject: Your response is required... My response is required. Close your eyes, imagine my fist.. imagine one finger extending.. the middle finger.. My response is required to one of their crappy, stupid, sloppy piece of spam trying to sell me something. Oh yeah, while you are visualizing imagine a bat rotating at a high speed where the sun don't shine!

Subject: Heighten sensation.. What sensation? The sensation of a nice cold shower when the weather is 100 degrees? The sensation of ice cream? Or maybe the sensation of me finding your true street address and visiting you with a baseball bat? I always wanted to play hockey!

Subject: Re: Account # 9648276M I do wish they would quit sending all this information about my account. It seems they have forgotten this account was set up for use after Earth is invaded (and it will be, there is even a TV show about it (invasion)) Another problem they seem to have is remembering the account number and how many times a day they sent it to me. I seem to get this every day.

Subject: want a Rolex? Sure I want a Rolex! This is not a counterfeit? where do I email you to give you the contact information? I will take two, one for each arm and a spare Heck, just send me 2 more, one for each ankle.

Subject: We have a check - it could be yours - It is! Just go on and sign it and send it to me. Your boss said to multiply the amount be 25 before you fill it in. Oh yeah, not because I don't trust you but make that a cashiers check or US postal money order,.

Subject: Get dealt in for 5 times the action. AND get taken for 5 times the money? besides, at my age 5 times ANY type of action could be dangerous to my health!

Subject: Can You Handle This IQ Test? - Can you handle the fact that most people have a higher IQ than the 25 you were tested at?

Subject: Get The Power Of A Visa Card Today Tomorrow get a MasterCard so you can buy ANOTHER GALLON of gas!

Subject: it's me, open up Dave's not here man!

Subject: Approve now so you can have funds delivered tomorrow I approve! I approve send me twenty million ! TOMORROW!

Subject: Prize form request from PCH Sorry, wrong person I am not giving any prizes at this time check back later about the Amateur Hooter Of The Week awards that may soon be instigated.

Subject: JJ- We Could be Nuts. Could be? I know you are if you are going to try to get money out of me!

Subject: Payless Shoes Giveaway - 100 Dollar Value Ok, I will take 7 pair of boots, 7 pair of shoes for the other half and 7 more pairs each for backup, plus 7 pair for everyone that sends me $25 First you should take this survey to see if you qualify.