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Ain’t It A Pain?

By JJ Judkins

 

So you have a computer and are on the internet? You have that nasty old problem that so many encounter?  I’m speaking of that critter called spam. Yes I know I have uttered that dreaded word, the bane of every honest (and many not so honest) surfer out in the depths of the internet, but be brave I have a few suggestions for you that will help you dodge the dreaded spammer idiots out there in the Digital Realm.

 

You download a batch of messages. If you are smart, your have an antivirus program that checks your email when it is downloaded..  Of f course the AV program won’t get rid of spam but you should have this function enabled if it is available.

 

Before I continue I should note that these tips are not designed to take the place of spam filters but to assist you into knowing what spam is and what is not, also you should note this is just a partial listing of possible spam problems.

 

 

I will mention a couple of fixes for your email problems. One is if you are using outlook set up filters for your messages, you get a message a filter is set up and sent to where you want, to a folder, or to trash. I don’t remember but I do believe with outlook express mail can be sent to a junk filter also.  Your best bet is to get a program like mail washer which will sort the email according to predetermined filters with a variety of available actions, the most common of which is a blacklist, a friends list and your filtered list.  This makes it a lot easier to read your mail.  Just check over the blacklist once in a while to make sure a good address did not get added.

 

  • REPLY ASAP -- it is over a 99 percent probability that this message author does not know you. Come on, how many persons that you know are so rude enough as to demand that you reply ASAP, if ASAP is used, they put it in a more polite way. There are many polite ways to phrase such a message but that is of no concern here, you can just about bet that if ASAP Is in the subject line that the message is spam and can be ignored. Reply ASAP really means “just send me your money, you are stupid enough to do so, I know it and you do too otherwise you wouldn’t be screwing around with this stupid message that is eating into your bandwidth!
  •   DEAR FRIEND: -- if you see this salutation at the beginning of an email you have wasted your time downloading the message. If you don’t have broadband this could be a matter of minutes on a slow day. Either way it is a waste of bandwidth. The sender has no idea who you are and sure isn’t your friend.  If he knew you he sure wouldn’t be sending you the junk he did, again proving he isn’t your friend!
  • From field blank or weird words in field:  -- gobbledygook in the message header bodes no good for you, it is a sign that your bandwidth is being used for another junk message. Don’t you just love this moron who sends you this junk hoping you are stupid enough to actually buy his garbage, garbage from someone in effect who is stealing your bandwidth, bandwidth that you paid for?
  • FREE items -- If an item is offered free through an email more than likely it is a scam. By scam I define any freebie offer that requires program participation.  Free means free, no it’s, ends, or buts!
  • Misspelled words -- Misspelled words are either intentional to circumvent your filters or some ignorant person in a foreign copy laboring to separate you from your cash. Look out for more than spelling though, look at the way the text is formed, Mistakes there can give the message away.
  • Famous Names -- Donald Trump has absolutely no interest in what you think and as far as I know even William Shatner doesn’t peddle his products via email! These people more than likely don’t even know their name is being used in this email, I doubt if they want their names thought of as low as that of lawyers and car salesmen.
  • Dear Member: -- This salutation should be a flag that immediately makes you set up and go WAIT A MINUTE! If it says this you probably ain’t! Almost every place will make it a policy to address you by name.  I figure it like this, if they don’t know my name they don’t know me and have nothing I am interested in!  also anything in a e-mail with this salutation, any information, any links to websites or forms, even the information is suspect.  Under no circumstances should you give any information as a result of a link from an email of this type.  If you believe the letter is legitimate, contact the company and confirm it is legitimate! Beware; going to a link from this type of mail can cause the loss of your account information and possibly your complete identity!
  • Hello, Hi, or Important matters to Discuss: -- are all flags that should alert you of a spam message, especially without your name, although you should not let the use of your name fool you either.  Unless you positively know the sender I would advise you that you count this type email as spam. Remember there are ways to get your name without knowing a anything about you. Don’t be fooled by the from or subject fields!
  • Beneficiary Type: -- These messages are blatant scams but appeal to enough people’s greed to pay off for the sender who might send millions of messages to get a payoff.

 

Here is an example: comments will be in red:

 

 

From The DESK OF MR. MORIS OKORO.

 

Standard Trust Bank Plc this is what will give the email a cloak of believability, more than likely this can be traced back to a real instituton.

Plot 245 Adeolu Hope wall StreetVictoria remember about typos and spelling mistakes? Island

Lagos-Nigeria not easy to get info out of here and probably hard to prosecute—if he is even there!

Dear friend, Remember what I said about this!

 

I am a Accountant with STANDARD TRUST BANK(STB)where would it be an accountants business to contact you ?  ok maybe but doubtful.,My name is MR.MORIS

OKORO,

a Banker. I am the personal Account Manager to late Engineer

Anderson,who was a foreigner, who used to work with an oil

servicing company in Nigeria Here in after shall be referred to as my

client language syntak is off

On MAY4 2005,my client, his wife, and their three children were

involved in a plane crash were

All occupants of the plane unfortunately lost their lives.

 

YOU CAN VERIFY THIS FROM THE WEBSITE BELOW http://www.usafricaonline.com/ngrkanocrash.html

http://www.hinduonnet.com/thehindu/2002/05/06/stories/20020506004515

00.ht=m http://www.hinduonnet.com/2002/05/05/stories/2002050503070101.htm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/1968616.stm   can it be verified? Is it verified just because a web site says it is? It just shows that a little more effort went into this scam.

 

Since then I have made several inquiries to your embassy to locate any

of my

clients ended Relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace him

 over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I

contacted you. I have contacted you to assist in repatriating the money

and

property left behind by my client before they Get confiscated or

declared unserviceable by the bank where this huge deposits were

lodged,particularly the STANDARD TRUST BANK PLC.Where the deceased had

an account

Valued at about ($50 million u s Dollers) has issued me a notice to

provide the next of kin. I am sure that this would break about a million laws or so.

Or have the account confiscated within the next ten official working

days.Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over

A

year now,I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the

deceased since you are also a foreigner so that the proceeds of this

account valued at ($50 million u s dollars) can be paid to you and

then you and me Can share the money %60 for me and %40 to you. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal

through.I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate

arrangement that will

protect you from any breach of the law.

reply in my private box below

 

in essence he wants you to help him smuggle the money out of the country.  Can you say cell mate? 

 

moris_okoro01@myway.com

 

best regards,

 

moris okoro,

 

 

 

 

You have won the international lottery! I will just say this, This is illegal in the united states reply at your own risk. Bubba 234-432 wants you to reply and join him!

--

 

British Lottery Headquarters:

Customer Service

33 YATCH BASIN MARINA OFFICES,

UPON TYNE NEWCASTLE LONDON

 

 

Attention:Winner  you won but your name isn’t known?  Yeah right.

Batch: 14/211/0374

Ref: BTL/311OXI/02

 

WINNING NOTIFICATION

We happily announce to you the draw(#1038) of the British lottery program

held on the 24th of August 2006 here in London.Your e-mail address attached,

to ticket number: 694 75600545 721  with Serial number: 5368/02 drew the

lucky numbers:02, 10, 11, 28, 36, 47 [33] Bonus Ball which subsequently won

you the lottery in the 2nd category.You are therefore,  been approved to

claim a total sum of £2,500,000.00 (Two Million Five Hundred Thousand GB

Pound Sterling Only)playing to every person’s desire for money  which  still remains unclaimed in cash credited to file

RPC/9080115322/44.

 

This year Lottery Program Jackpot is the largest ever for British Lottery, THE HOOK

The estimated 125 million jackpot would  be the sixth-biggest in U.K.

history.The biggest was the 363 million pounds sterling jackpot that went to

two winners in a May 2000 drawing of The Big Game, Mega Millions'

predecessor. Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our

European  booklet representative office in Europe as indicated  in our play

coupon. In view of this, your £2,500,000.00 (Two Million Five Hundred

Thousand GB Pound Sterling Only) will be released to you in three method

payment depending on your choice (Cash, Check or TT).

 

Our European agent will immediately commence  the process to facilitate the

release of your funds  to you as soon as you make contact with her. All

participants were selected randomly fromWorld Wide Web site through computer

draw system and extracted from over 100,000 companies.This promotion takes

place annually.

 

Kindly contact your claims processing officer with the below details for the

processing of your claims.

 

Overseas Claims Unit

United Kingdom Lottery Fiduciary Agent Officer

Contact Person: Mrs. Anita Smith

Email: britishlottery-claimsdpt@Safe-mail.net

 

 

To avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please quote your

reference/batch numbers in any correspondences with us or our  designated

agent.

 

Accept our congratulations once more from all members and staffs of this

program.

 

Thank you

for being part of our promotional lottery program.

 

Sincerely,

Dr. Scott Martins

Zonal Coordinator

 

Warning!!!: Fraudulent emails are circulating that appear to be using

British National Lottery addresses, but are not from The British Lottery. PLEASE REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO :CUSTOMER CARE/COMPLAINTS

DEPT:britishlottery-claimsdpt@Safe-mail.net

 

_________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

While nothing will stop you receiving the annoying emails it is hoped that this will make your encounter with them a little easier. I recommend a program called   mail washer http://www.mailwasher.net/ there is a free version available for download.

The Antivirus program, AVG can be found here: http://free.grisoft.com/doc/1

 


 

 

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